Wednesday 5 February 2014

Secret mum stuff

Just being honest...

I can't claim this quote as my own but it is so true it makes me laugh. When I first saw it I felt a wave of relief someone else felt the same way.

Growing up there were many things I thought I wanted to be, a fashion designer, a news reporter, a princess, a zoo keeper an author, really it was a different career every other day. One thing that stuck though is that I always wanted to be a mum.

Just like the idealistic perfect idea I had about what being a princess or a zoo keeper would be like the same certainly was true about being a mother.

 I thought about how well dressed and beautiful my children would be. How much fun I would have to play with them all day painting, using play dough and dress ups. I would have beautiful sunlight mornings in bed chatting and laughing with my happy children and handsome husband and feel the contented wave of love and happiness wash over me.

The truth is all those wonderful things have happened and I am sure I have taken lovely photos on the occasion to capture those beautiful moments and shared them, but just because I share these moments online doesn't mean it's the whole truth.

In my carefree childless days I didn't think about the sleepless nights, tantrums, and impossible logistics of shopping / catching up with friends for lunch/ pooing in privacy. I was a judgy a***ehole who thought I will be such a cool mum, I won't yell at my kids, I will think of creative but appropriate punishments that teach them important morals and values to become well adjusted happy kids. 

What. a. wanker. I. was.

Sometimes (a lot) my house is messy, I let the dog into the kitchen after the kids have eaten to clean up the mess and I am pretty sure my neighbors will knock on my door one of these days to see if everything is okay after hearing screaming. There is moldy stuff in my fridge and food caked onto my clothes when I go out every single time. I find the moment that I close the car door after strapping the kids in their seats heavenly that brief moment of silence is like a holiday. Little B is currently going through a moment of intense jealousy and has developed a habit of screeching in a way that makes my teeth hurt and the baby has started climbing on everything without any concept of how much it will hurt when she inevitably falls off.

But then just when I think I am about to lose my mind from it all they do this...

So I kiss their sweet sleeping faces at night before I go to bed, my heart full of hopes and dreams for them and a intense consuming love I didn't even know existed until I became their mother, and I look forward to a new day.

Dani xo


  1. I think every Mum can relate to this.
    Yesterday I found myself in my house alone (Hubby took the kids to the park) and I was daydreaming that I had no kids. I was so content for that second, then little miss 2 banged on the door wanting to come home because she fell over. Sigh.. Ah well it is nice to dream for a minute.

    1. Yes I hear you there sister! It's not that we don't love them with all our hear and soul or that we don't also have lots of fun with them it's just the peace, silence, the opportunity to do a wee in private that it the hardest part.

  2. That's the part of motherhood that you rarely hear about but EVERY mother feels the same. If they don't, they are lying! My son is now 22 but I remember feeling overwhelmed SO much of the time when he was little! Now I've been helping a young couple who we know a couple of nights a week from 6-10 pm. They have a 2 year old boy and 10 month old twin boys and they need all the help they can get. I get to go for cuddles and hugs and then I go home and go to bed, while they usually have a long night ahead! Don't forget to take a little time for yourself every now and then. Mom's deserve it! I'm in your Blog with Pip class and I'm making my way don our blog list. I look forward to reading more!

    1. Thankyou so much for your comment Jeannette, it is so comforting to know in not alone and yes other mothers feel like this too. You sound like an amazing woman helping your friends out wish you lived closer to me as I would love a extra pair of hands sometimes ;)


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